Getting worried about my little girl...

I have to admit that I am SO torn between wanting this little man out of me, and feeling not ready at all! My hesitations this time around are not at all the same as the ones I shared when Willow was soon to arrive. Labor and delivery doesnt worry me (though I am praying for a natural labor, not pitocin induced). Being prepared for baby isnt a worry cause I know everything just falls into place and has a way of working itself out. And besides Willow is such a joy and blessing why wouldnt I want to meet him RIGHT NOW!|?!?! Well in all honesty Im worried about my little girl Blue. She is such a sweet heart, and the best part of so many of my days (Dont worry I can say that, hubby is gone for days at a time so its just her around ;-)) And if this baby wasnt about to arrive there is no doubt that she would still, and is still our BABY! She will only just be a year old when he is born, and there is no way to help her get ready for this! I know that in ways it will make things easier, or so I am told, but I worry about how she will handle it emotionally. For the past year of her life mommy and daddy have been wrapped around that little finger and would do anything for her. This isn't about to change, she is still our little girl, but she is sure going to think it has :-( *sigh* Heck I'm not even sure I am emotionally prepared! With life being so crazy these past months with Cody in school and what not the "preparing" has been at an all time minimum. Diapers you say? Yeah we plan on picking some up on the way home from the hospital ;-) Whenever I start to think things in a circle and get worried about this next wonderful new addition to our lives I am so thankful that God chose this little man for us, at this time, with all of this in mind. Praise Jesus for crazy plans that keep us on our toes and leaning on Him :-)

My weight loss out look on life...

Summer time... it brings a lot of things to mind, most of them wonderful. However for me it also is a time of year with heat which leads to smaller clothing and the inevitable need to lose a few pounds or tone up a bit. Last summer I had none of these thoughts because I was either majorly pregnant or had just given birth and if anyone cared to judge the extras I was packing around I sure didnt mind. This summer I find myself in the same position. Now dont get me wrong as much as its nice to not have to feel bad about it, I do miss the cute sun dresses and shorts ect. I was thinking that maybe next summer I could just be me (or maybe just starting to grow a baby lol) but then I had a awful thought "Its going to be so much more work then ever before to be summer ready!" let me just add that my summer ready isn't even normal person summer ready. You see I have several things working against me when it comes to weight loss and fitness. I am curvy/soft/have some extras to love, whatever you want to call it and I dont mind. I dont have a poor self image and my husband seems to find me attractive (we are popping out the second kid in 12 months after all ;-)) I'm not competitive, like I couldn't care less if you beat me at it or try to guilt me into it, it just doesn't work! I like being content with what I have in life and not comparing it to others, some might see this as a weakness but its something I dont ever want to change. Lastly, I hate working out and I love good food. There are very few fun physical activities I enjoy even, if it gets to hot or sweaty I'm outta there. As for food everyone around me is "discovering" the benefits of eating healthy and rocking the paleo, vegan or some other diet in their lives... I think this is wonderful, for them. I have no desire to do it in my own life however. So whats the point? If I dont care about weight loss, calories or image what on earth would ever get me in shape after baby? Was I just going to resign myself to being a fatty? NOPE! Why not? I love my husband way to much :-) As I have stated he is amazing at making me feel beautiful and like nothing needs to change, but I also know he is a man who appreciates a woman who respects herself and him enough to not just let myself go. So, I have to come up with some kind of plan and motivation. For now I have decided I dont care about losing pounds so I cant set that goal. I don't like to compete so I cant set a goal for myself like running a race or something and since its not about the weight eating right alone wont get me where I need to be... I'm at such a stupid loss for motivation :-) lol Maybe I'll reward myself with a tattoo when my body is "ink worthy" since another one of my personal opinions is ink on fat is nasty ;-P Oh well I still have a little while ot figure it out

The Ultimate Test

As some of you might know last October I was introduced to the amazing world of Mary Kay! I went to a friends party to be nice and went home and signed up. I am NOT one to buy into things easy, or at all, but I loved the products so much I wanted the discount like any well meaning woman would. One thing lead to another and I now have a full blown Mary Kay store in my home and am slowly building up a base of loyal customers. As much as the unexpected growth of a certain little someone in my stomach, and the trials of husbands 6 month paramedic school have slowed my original plans for my Mary Kay business, I honestly believe that this is something that the Lord placed on my heart and I'm excited to see where it will take me in the future. Anyways on to my main point. I didn't want to try and pitch products for money, I wanted to get people hooked on awesome products I love... so I tried them all (well almost all), and I loved them! There isn't something I've tried and not liked except the water proof mascara, but they just fixed that with the new lash love in water proof, crisis averted. I have clearer, more even toned, healthy skin and the makeup is just the icing on the cake at the end of a good skin day :-) So whats the test gonna be??? You guessed it LABOR! I, like many other moms out there came out of my first delivery a total hot mess. While it was the last thing I cared about and even looking back now I don't mind, I wouldn't be apposed to coming out on the other side with a little bit of human life left in my face ;-) (just a sample of what last time looked like, and this is a good picture!) Since I don't know what time will allow when labor actually hits I will let you know what products really get the test of time, sweat and crying but you can bet you its going to include my favorite primer and water proof mascara :-) Cant wait to see if it really is up for this task! To be continued.....