Tonight I'm sitting in my own darling little old home, with candles burning, soft music playing and fresh cookies to eat. My life is filled with so many blessings I cant even count. Yet some how a heaviness has settled in on my heart and I don't know that I can even explain why.
Rather then focusing on the heaviness I would rather tell you about the thing that stands out as my truest joy no matter how heavy, how cold or how overwhelmed I might feel. My HUSBAND <3
What makes that man so amazing? How can he make me melt with a simple touch, or cry from laughing when I'm sad? He seems to know just what I need or don't need, and he honestly cares for me better then I could ever deserve. I'm pleased to say that I am completely and hopelessly not only in love with, but committed to my man.
I honestly believe that if you decide to you can love, be loved and be happy with (almost) anyone. Perhaps its my dads voice in my head telling my that if only one person is completely selfless it can work ;-) I know that I once considered loving someone by choice alone, I thank God daily that I didn't make that mistake. I live my days unable to help but too love him. Yes there are moments, and maybe some day even days when I have and will have to chose to love my man. I am confident however, that the days filled with a very pure and true kind of love makes and will make those days so much easier to face.
Yesterday he turned 23. Not really old at all right? Well that means that I have spent 10 amazing years loving this man, even when it hurt like hell to do so. I laid in bed last night feeling him breath next to me and begged God for another ten... I suppose the last line might sum up the heavy hearted feeling. How many people don't get even the first ten years with the love of their lives? I know a few...
I guess that as much as I do miss my family and friends, I am feeling so overwhelmed at where I am, who I;m with and all that I have. I strive to live for a might God and he showers me with more blessings then I know what to do with, and love is the greatest one of all....
