Enjoying & Recognizing Ever Stage!

These past few weeks I have noticed a very big change in my little girl. I dont know if its the fact she is almost a year old, or if its because her daddy has been around a lot more since graduating paramedic school, causing our regular schedule to be interrupted some what. Whatever it might be she is once again changing, and I find myself falling in love with her even more. It really does just keep getting better and better!

One major change is her sense of adventure, the kids always had it but she just keeps expanding her horizons :-) She has become quiet the climber, flipping buckets so she can stand on them and climbing all over the furniture. Because Willow has always observed things before tackling them she taught herself how to also get down (for the most part) the same day she figured out how to get up. So unless something gets her extra excited and she loses focus she is avoiding a lot of big falls, which I'm thankful for!

Secondly Willow is becoming very loving and affectionate towards me and Cody <3 I cant complain one little bit. Some of it is a more clingy stage where she wants to sit in your lap or just lean against you to make sure you are there, but its also much more. she has started snuggling (I know most parents get to enjoy some form of this much sooner!) Willow has never been big on the lovin though :-) When we put her to bed at night while we pray she wraps her arms around our necks and cuddles before peacefully laying down and going to sleep! And today I got my very first kiss that I didnt have to ask for, and maybe only the 10th I have ever gotten! Its been so fun and I constantly find myself thanking the Lord for these amazing moments while our time with just her draws to an end.

She is at such a fun age! She is getting big enough to really understand the concept of "play" and interacts with us. She loves peek-a-boo and putting things in and out of stuff :-) Its amazing to watch her catch on so quickly when we teach her new things. I know that in just two weeks she is considered a toddler but to me this little love is still just my baby girl! I have loved every single stage we have experienced with her so far, and look forward to so many more. This one is proving to be just as exciting and filled with unexpected blessings. I know that as she continues to grow and test her boundaries there will be challenges that come with that, but I dont want to ever miss out or not realize and cherish these changes as they come and go so fast! Life with Willow is a gift.

Getting worried about my little girl...

I have to admit that I am SO torn between wanting this little man out of me, and feeling not ready at all! My hesitations this time around are not at all the same as the ones I shared when Willow was soon to arrive. Labor and delivery doesnt worry me (though I am praying for a natural labor, not pitocin induced). Being prepared for baby isnt a worry cause I know everything just falls into place and has a way of working itself out. And besides Willow is such a joy and blessing why wouldnt I want to meet him RIGHT NOW!|?!?! Well in all honesty Im worried about my little girl Blue. She is such a sweet heart, and the best part of so many of my days (Dont worry I can say that, hubby is gone for days at a time so its just her around ;-)) And if this baby wasnt about to arrive there is no doubt that she would still, and is still our BABY! She will only just be a year old when he is born, and there is no way to help her get ready for this! I know that in ways it will make things easier, or so I am told, but I worry about how she will handle it emotionally. For the past year of her life mommy and daddy have been wrapped around that little finger and would do anything for her. This isn't about to change, she is still our little girl, but she is sure going to think it has :-( *sigh* Heck I'm not even sure I am emotionally prepared! With life being so crazy these past months with Cody in school and what not the "preparing" has been at an all time minimum. Diapers you say? Yeah we plan on picking some up on the way home from the hospital ;-) Whenever I start to think things in a circle and get worried about this next wonderful new addition to our lives I am so thankful that God chose this little man for us, at this time, with all of this in mind. Praise Jesus for crazy plans that keep us on our toes and leaning on Him :-)

My weight loss out look on life...

Summer time... it brings a lot of things to mind, most of them wonderful. However for me it also is a time of year with heat which leads to smaller clothing and the inevitable need to lose a few pounds or tone up a bit. Last summer I had none of these thoughts because I was either majorly pregnant or had just given birth and if anyone cared to judge the extras I was packing around I sure didnt mind. This summer I find myself in the same position. Now dont get me wrong as much as its nice to not have to feel bad about it, I do miss the cute sun dresses and shorts ect. I was thinking that maybe next summer I could just be me (or maybe just starting to grow a baby lol) but then I had a awful thought "Its going to be so much more work then ever before to be summer ready!" let me just add that my summer ready isn't even normal person summer ready. You see I have several things working against me when it comes to weight loss and fitness. I am curvy/soft/have some extras to love, whatever you want to call it and I dont mind. I dont have a poor self image and my husband seems to find me attractive (we are popping out the second kid in 12 months after all ;-)) I'm not competitive, like I couldn't care less if you beat me at it or try to guilt me into it, it just doesn't work! I like being content with what I have in life and not comparing it to others, some might see this as a weakness but its something I dont ever want to change. Lastly, I hate working out and I love good food. There are very few fun physical activities I enjoy even, if it gets to hot or sweaty I'm outta there. As for food everyone around me is "discovering" the benefits of eating healthy and rocking the paleo, vegan or some other diet in their lives... I think this is wonderful, for them. I have no desire to do it in my own life however. So whats the point? If I dont care about weight loss, calories or image what on earth would ever get me in shape after baby? Was I just going to resign myself to being a fatty? NOPE! Why not? I love my husband way to much :-) As I have stated he is amazing at making me feel beautiful and like nothing needs to change, but I also know he is a man who appreciates a woman who respects herself and him enough to not just let myself go. So, I have to come up with some kind of plan and motivation. For now I have decided I dont care about losing pounds so I cant set that goal. I don't like to compete so I cant set a goal for myself like running a race or something and since its not about the weight eating right alone wont get me where I need to be... I'm at such a stupid loss for motivation :-) lol Maybe I'll reward myself with a tattoo when my body is "ink worthy" since another one of my personal opinions is ink on fat is nasty ;-P Oh well I still have a little while ot figure it out

The Ultimate Test

As some of you might know last October I was introduced to the amazing world of Mary Kay! I went to a friends party to be nice and went home and signed up. I am NOT one to buy into things easy, or at all, but I loved the products so much I wanted the discount like any well meaning woman would. One thing lead to another and I now have a full blown Mary Kay store in my home and am slowly building up a base of loyal customers. As much as the unexpected growth of a certain little someone in my stomach, and the trials of husbands 6 month paramedic school have slowed my original plans for my Mary Kay business, I honestly believe that this is something that the Lord placed on my heart and I'm excited to see where it will take me in the future. Anyways on to my main point. I didn't want to try and pitch products for money, I wanted to get people hooked on awesome products I love... so I tried them all (well almost all), and I loved them! There isn't something I've tried and not liked except the water proof mascara, but they just fixed that with the new lash love in water proof, crisis averted. I have clearer, more even toned, healthy skin and the makeup is just the icing on the cake at the end of a good skin day :-) So whats the test gonna be??? You guessed it LABOR! I, like many other moms out there came out of my first delivery a total hot mess. While it was the last thing I cared about and even looking back now I don't mind, I wouldn't be apposed to coming out on the other side with a little bit of human life left in my face ;-) (just a sample of what last time looked like, and this is a good picture!) Since I don't know what time will allow when labor actually hits I will let you know what products really get the test of time, sweat and crying but you can bet you its going to include my favorite primer and water proof mascara :-) Cant wait to see if it really is up for this task! To be continued.....

Being A Mommy

I know that our experience as parents has just begun, and that we have so much more to learn, but over the past 10 months our lives have been abundantly blessed. Me & Cody have both always loved children and looked forward to the time when they would one day be our own, i believe that we went into this with a pretty good idea of what being a parent would do to our lives, but it has exceeded our wildest expectation. I can't even express the kind of joy and love that comes with having a child, not only my love for Willow, but for my husband & the Lord. The clearest way I think it can be explained is truly deep down understanding the meaning of unconditional love like never before.

I have also been fortunate enough to get to be a full time stay at home mom. (A huge thanks to EVERYONE who has made this dream come true for me!) This has been a HUGE answer to our needs for this stage of life even without being a mom, but its made being a mom so much fun. I love getting to get up every morning and play and cuddle with my girl, its my favorite part of the day. We have loved watching her grow more into her little personality every day and reach new mile stones along the way. She makes everything more fun to experience as a family.

So what has been different about being a mom then I thought it would be? Two major things stick out to me. One, its not as hard as people said it would be, not to say there isn't challenges to being a mom. However, for us at our stage of life it was the perfect thing for us and as much as it was an adjustment it was a wonderful one. Two, there is no one universally right way to parent. I thought I knew this before, and even now I still catch myself judging other moms, but I know that just because you think its the right way doesn't mean it actually works. We do all kinds of things I wasn't ever going to do and dont do plenty of things we planned on.

Im so thankful that the Lord has perfect timing for ALL THINGS in our lives. Our little girl was a surprise that we weren't sure we were ready for but now that she is here we see Gods hands all over her and our lives and have no fear to welcome our second little love bug this July because He works all things to the glory of His plan. If all babies are as big a blessing as she has been to us I'm not sure we will ever stop ;-) I love being a mom....

Welcoming Willow Blue Mooney

Here I am finally getting around to sharing about our sweet baby girls arrival if anyone cares to know about it. Since her due date was July 10th, and Cody’s mom wanted to be sure not to miss the delivery, her and the girls got here on the 8th to wait with me. We relaxed and played as day after day slipped away with no sign of Willow. It was great that they were here and while I fully wanted Willow to come when she was ready I did feel bad everyone was sitting around waiting on us.
We went in for our 40 week appointment and I was at 2cm and 75% effaced. So we thought ok good something is happening… we were wrong it was another 5 days before my water finally broke. Well at least they say that’s what happened, it’s hard to be sure when it just feels like you keep peeing your pants without warning; Add that to the list of fun things you get to experience as a mom, a flash back to your own child hood and having to walk home in pee soaked jeans, classy!
Anyways we went to the Dr and she confirmed that it was my water and not pee (deep sigh of relief because how embarrassing would that have been?). They sent us over to the hospital to get checked in, knowing it could be a while before this whole show was over we stopped and got some food first and I’m super glad we did.
Now from the start I knew I wanted a natural birth, I could say it’s because I believe it’s what’s best for the baby or that I know and believe my body was made to do this and I want to experience the birth of my child in its natural beautiful form and it would be true. However I have to admit that the little competitive voice in the back of my head telling me that my mother gave birth to 4 children, my sister AnnaMae gave birth to 2 and my sister Erin 1 all without any pain meds might have been a big factor! I wasn’t planning on being the weak link ;-)
After all the paper work was finished, the IV was finally in after the nurse admitted she was really bad at it and there was blood all over and I had been poked and prodded once again, they told us we had until 9pm to get some good contractions going and some more cm under our belt. So we started walking, and walking, and bouncing on yoga balls, and walking, and eating ice chips, and walking, and stopping for baby monitoring, and yep some more walking. Being stuck on the baby floor and not aloud to leave your walking locations are limited and we started feeling like we were creeping on other peoples babies!

When 9 rolled around and I was once again lucky enough to be checked I was at 3cm, a whole whopping one more then five days before! The contractions that I could now at least feel felt something more akin to wanting a quaso burrito from qudoba then a body getting ready to crank out a baby, so needless to say they were not impressed and started me on pitocin. I have to admit at this point in the game I cried for the first time (but not for the last) I was disappointed that my body wasn’t doing it on its own and I knew the meds were about to make it a whole lot more painful, they didn’t disappoint and soon I was in hard labor.
The labor itself was not fun and Cody says I have forgotten how bad it was by the way I talk about it, whether he is right or not I do know that during it all knowing the outcome made me willing and able to push through. I made it all the way to 7cm when after asking me for the 100th time I finally gave into the nurses dose of Fentinal she had been offering. I had never had any narcotics before so I wasn’t ready for the new “happy” me that soon took over. Lets just say I was entertainment for Cody and Rita, and while this is embarrassing I wouldn’t want to disappoint so I have included a photo… 7cm, or peace5

Back to the good stuff, it was finally time to start pushing. I know it doesn’t seem like a hard concept but it took me a while to catch on to what it was I was supposed to be doing. Rita would very kindly explain that I needed to hold my breath and push with my stomach, which I would respond to with an “I am!” when clearly I was taking a deep breath then just huffing it right back out while tensing my whole body… we will blame this on the narcotics as well.
Well thankfully I finally caught on and weirdly enough it was amazing. I finally was able to do something, I was working towards bringing our baby girl into the world. It didn’t feel good but I was so glad to be at this point. I didn’t even have to push an hour (which only felt like 15 minutes to me) before they called the Dr and a few more nurses in.
I don’t know if Rita is known for calling the Dr in to early, or if he really was just enjoying his little stroll down the hall but he took his time getting there which earned me the fun job of waiting through 2 contractions without pushing. Thankfully it was all worth it because in spite of his fashionably late appearance to our little shindig, he was a great Dr. He was all for Cody doing the delivery, he talked him through it and only stepped in to remove the cord from around her neck. I think its so special and sweet that her daddy got to be the first person to hold her!
When daddy did finally hold her he held her up for me to see and said “Emma look at her she’s beautiful look at her!” His excitement and pride was so evident and he wanted to share the specialness of those first few moments with me, with my head flopped back on the pillow in complete relief and my eyes rolling back in my head I sobbed “I am looking.” Even as the words left my mouth I knew how stupid they sounded, everyone knew I was not looking. But when they lifted that sweet little squirming baby onto my chest I sure was looking, looking right at perfection.

We honestly can’t thank God enough for our whole experience, the people involved, how smooth everything went, and of course for our sweet Willow Blue who joined our world at 3:26 on July 16th weighing in at just 6lbs 8oz and measuring 19 inch long, the smallest most stunning little person to have graced this earth. God is good and childbirth was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, I thank Him daily for his awesome creation of our baby girl and for the amazing man he gave me to hold my hand and couch me through the whole thing. I am blessed!

(I don't have the pictures of Cody with her right after birth I still need to get them :-P)


(Our Dr :-) and a nice fat face shot of me!)

and of course one more of the star of the show, Willow Blue Mooney ladies and gentlemen!

Ready or not...

It's hard to explain the emotions and thoughts running through my mind these days. With only four days until our little Willow Blue is due to arrive I honestly cant pin point what it is Im feeling (maybe this is pretty common for new mamas but it's weird for me!) I couldn't be more excited and thrilled to finally hold and kiss my sweet baby and Cody can hardly contain his excitement and nerves as he waits to finally be involved in his daughters life. We are also physically ready for her to show up with everything we can think of (besides a rocking chair... the right one seems to be hiding from us lol). And while I am still totally comfortable in my pregnant body I also feel ready and rested for labor and her arrival.

So what's hard to explain? The crazy part of my brain that doesn't believe that we have finally reached this time! When you first find out you are expecting you freak out a little about everything that is going to change, but it's ok because you have time to figure everything out. But I don't know where all that time went and I cant get myself to believe that she is going to come any time now! Eeeeee how can this be!?! And are we ready!?!?! Haha I know we are and will be because we have to be when it does happen but it's funny to not be feeling that readiness that most people have told us would come. I don't feel so uncomfortable or desperate to get her out, and we are excited but don't feel like we have been waiting for endless time for this day to come. I guess we just aren't like everyone else :-)

No matter how we feel about it, it is about to happen and about that I am sure! And excited :-)
I know the next few weeks are going to be so packed with amazing memories and special moments with our sweet little family. I feel so blessed to have had such an easy healthy pregnancy and baby and am praying it continues through labor and delivery. We have such an awesome support group of friends and family as well who have made this whole process a joy in spite of any stress that comes with this new chapter of our lives. I'm so excited to start sharing our little girl with everyone of you here on the blog. Stay tuned for her first REAL photo! I just know it's going to be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen ;-P